The Bridesmaids

## Posted by Allison

Emily — Matron of Honor, Allison’s little sister. Known better to Allison as Enemy, Chiquita Banana, Emma-loo, or Emmy. Mom to Hayden, the cutest kid in the world. Emily has a goal (intentional or not) to live in every suburb in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

Kristin — Bridesmaid, friend. Kristin is not only our pastor’s wife, but also has been part of our small group for the past couple years. Mom to the second cutest kid ever. And Jackson, their dog who we love, but likes digging up carpets and chewing door frames.

Angie — Bridesmaid, friend. Angie and Allison became friends making coffee for Fellowship Raleigh Sunday mornings, even though neither were coffee drinkers. She teaches middle school owns cats.

The Groomsmen

## Posted by Aaron

I’ve know my groomsmen since the 6th grade, when we first began developing our plans for world domination.

Blayne — Best Man, friend. For those of you who follow my personal blog: Yes, this is the Blayne of fame. He is the organizer of Group Stupid, a task that will eventually drive him insane. (There are those who believe this has already happened.) Recently, he began performing as a comedian, but he remains best known for popularizing the use of Kelly’s Industrial Strength Hair Gel and Glaze. Blayne is conquering the Midwest, starting with Indianapolis, Indiana.

Brian — Groomsman, friend. Brian’s basement was the first world headquarters for Group Stupid. He is the only groomsmen who didn’t graduate from Purdue University, and he’s a little sensitive about it. However, since he went to Butler University in Indianapolis, we were still able to get together on a regular basis to continue our plotting. Brian took over the conquest of the Southwest from me, starting with a precisely coordinated move to Austin, Texas mere hours after I began the conquest of the Southeast.

Nick — Groomsman, friend. Nick is the only groomsman I have not had as a roommate at some point in my academic career, so there’s a good chance that Allison and I will move in with him and Melissa after I graduate from NCSU. Nick’s role in Group Stupid is to instantaneously generate statistics that are only accurate if Group Stupid chooses to ignore what they portend. Nick is conquering the Pacific Northwest, starting with Olympia, Washington.

Matt — Groomsman, friend. While we were at Purdue, Matt would regularly skip his database class to have lunch in the Union with me and some other friends. Somehow, this did not affect his ability to get a job working with large amounts of data in databases. After graduating, Matt began his long term reconnaissance mission to inform the ‘world’ phase of our world domination plans. Matt will take over the conquest of the Southeast from me after I graduate, starting with Atlanta, Georgia.

Dave — Groomsman, friend. Dave’s role in Group Stupid is to blur the lines between brilliance and insanity, mostly by screaming inappropriate or hilarious phrases at pseudo-random intervals. (I believe Allison has charged Lori with the task of ensuring this doesn’t happen during the wedding ceremony.) In addition, Dave regularly drafts a kicker or a player currently serving a suspension in the first round of our Fantasy Football league. Dave is conquering the East Coast, starting with Washington, D.C.